pondering over motherhood and naming the 2nd baby

the whole time i was pregnant with kaya i was worried about how i would juggle motherhood into an already busy life.  i worried about it so much that i'm pretty sure it was the catalyst to my post partum depression (that lasted 3 months after kaya was born).  really i should have looked at my track record.  in most fast paced careers it's a sink or swim situation and historically in everything i've undertaken i'm a swimmer ... a pretty damned good one in fact.  and if there ever was a sink or swim situation it's motherhood.  SERIOUSLY.  just watch the tv show 16 and pregnant and you'll figure that out lol.  so this time around i'm really not as worried about it.  what has been swirling in my head of late, what with mother's day coming up, is how well i've been coping actually.  

there's this rumor going around that you lose brain cells when you become a mom.  pretty sure it's not a myth.  i lost brain cells and abilities like you won't believe but recently i've noticed that i seem to have gotten my bearings back and i really feel myself again.  i've looked around at my home, my child, my work and i gotta say... i've done a pretty bangin job with multi-tasking around here.  with mother's day approaching fast i now realize what i've taken for granted all these years with my own mothers and even within my own home until now.  mother's day, although touted to be the best hallmark card invention ever, is a very necessary day!  nothing would rock my world right now more than the simple acknowledgement from my husband and my daughter that i've done a good job around here.  sure i get hugs, kisses, i love you's and sweet smiles daily and multiple times a day but yes... i think a well deserved pat (accompanied by a tender "gesture") letting me know that they recognize what i do around here and that it's beyond appreciated -- well that would be AWESOME.  playing mom, wife, cook, psychiatrist, organizer, home maintainer (since i was smart enough to know my limits and hire a housekeeper), best friend, taxi, employee, employer and a whole bunch of other roles simultaneously, seamlessly and with no complaint is NO FRIGGIN JOKE.  sink or swim friends and again, if this were a resume, i swim well.  that's the bottom line.

so anyway, the second baby is due SOON.  thank god.  oh sure i'm worried about the adjustment period but it's not all consuming anymore.  what did consume us for a few weeks there was what to name her.  after trying out two names for weeks we finally settled on one.  

kaya, curtis and i are looking forward to meeting ...

dia milan ford

my two most favorite photos of curtis and kaya taken w my phone