you guys have read my delivery room tales. i thought it would be interesting to hear a different point of view on how that day went down. so i've asked both curtis and regis to write their version of this long tale.
curtis, for those of you that don't know, is a HUGE star wars fan. he's read pretty much all the books and there are a lot of them! his approach to the story is kinda like a star wars gone maternity. lol.
btw.. i'll warn you right now. i laughed and i cried. bring out the tissues kids. oh and see if you can make out who the cast of characters are.
mila | frex, grin N munchie . the update reloaded
dramatis personae (in order of appearance)
ima n. distress
nurse ino kare
kaya simone "munchie" ford (special appearance by)
...and who is this?! you never told me about her. a friend? a friend from where? wait. why are you two naked?! rabbit? what rabbit? we don't have any pets...
bzzzzz.. bzzzzz.. bzzzzz.. bzzzzz.. bzzzzz.. (seriously?!)
ima n. distress: "honey are you gonna get that?"
pfft! damn bosnians. why in the world do we always dream in that minute before waking? it's fine when you're falling, but when you're not...
the boss: "HI HANZ!"
hanz holder: "ribbit" [Good morning]
how in the hell can you be this happy this early in the morning?
the boss: "what are you working on today?"
hanz holder: "ribbit, ribbit... ribbit" [Project Server, a couple of merge workitems.. CIC]
i'm off to work. well in the office anyway. 7:45 AM conference call with the bosnians, work from home for a bit and then in to the office. not so bad but i am not a morning person. guess that's gonna change real quick in a few. when is that little one coming anyway? she's overdue. figures. black father, filipino mother.. poor thing never had a chance at being on time.
ok, finally getting hungry. just about time for lunch... bzzzzz.. bzzzzz..
hanz holder: "what's up sweetie?"
ima n. distress: "ummm... don't make fun of me but either my water broke or i just pee'd myself. i'm not sure. but i'm really hungry so i'm gonna eat. i'll call you back in 10 mins, just giving you a head's up."
hanz holder: "uh.. ok."
hanz holder: "still peeing on yourself?"
ima n. distress: "i think you should come and get me."
hanz holder: (WOOHOO!) "ok, i'm on my way."
(what time is it? is anyone else hungry?)
ima's settled in and we forgot the laptop.
ima n. distress: "..why don't you go get it and get yourself something to eat."
hanz holder: "ok, i'll be right back."
nurse nice: "don’t worry we’ll take good care of her."
a stop by triunfo, a shower. ok i think it's time to drop the chin cushion. hmm... should i wait? nah. shock factor. whoa! where in the hell did my chin go!? well that's interesting.
oh it's dr. tran. that's wierd. she looked right at me. not even a hi. oh well, she must be in a hurry.
hanz holder: "hi baby!"
ima n. distress: "OMG!"
yep, remember me?
hanz holder: "how are we doing?"
ima n. distress: "we were waiting on the pitocin until you got back. can you let nurse nice know you're here?"
yeah, let's get this party started...
hanz holder: "hey nurse nice, when can i get a band?"
nurse nice: "umm.. you have a visitor's band on already."
hanz holder: "yeah, but how am i gonna get to see my baby? i need the daddy band."
nurse nice: (does a double-take) "OMG!"
oh. yep, remember me?
hanz holder: "what up papa(razzi)?! i think you're gonna be here awhile..."
hanz holder: "ok, papa and i are gonna grab a starbucks and some food."
ima n. distress: "sure. still nothin' goin' on so i'll see you in a bit."
papa razzi and i head over to the block, end up at the corner bakery and try to figure out a way to play some poker while we're waiting. papa hits up [b] who happens to be just up the street (how fortunate, he always has chips..). text.. reply.. text.. reply. "let's grab that starbucks."
papa razzi: "double frappa whippa something, ..sticks and snails and puppy dog tails. in a big gulp cup, with just a little ice.."
hanz holder: (my god! this guy's gonna be up until easter) "grande mocha latte, only 2 pumps please"
too much ice. take two. vanilla latte. take three. and we're off...
SNAP!!! the camera shutters and so does ima. Looks like the gloves are off now. papa's already tapped his keg of coffee and he's all over the room. the little lady's face looks like i just burped up triunfo. Uh oh, here comes ino kare..
ima n. distress: "shit!"
nurse ino kare: "ahh sohowwee doon?" [???]
ima n. distress: "let's talk about that epidural."
nurse ino kare: "weh wegotta cuppa option. da one.."
ok look, she really didn't mean let's talk about it. she meant get it going.
nurse ino kare: "...anden da too..."
ima n. distress: (wispered) "if she doesn't f#@*in shutup.."
looks like i'm gonna lose the bet. secretly i know i've won cause i said she'd be here after the 15th but she thinks i said before. i'll go with it, i'm just happy she's coming. "ok... deep breath in 2.. 3.. and out 2.. 3.."
ima n. distress: "moan..."
hanz holder: "ok... deep breath in 2.. 3.. and out 2.. 3.." (chorus)
rinse and repeat every 2 mins for the next 7 and a half hours...
trade papa for a couple nurses. he went to get water.
nurse 1: "We need to get her to roll over."
hanz holder: "ok. love..?"
ima n. distress: "hold please.." (doo doo doo doo... doo doo dooooo...)
nurse 2: "we really need to get her rolled over NOW."
sure. i understand. baby's on the cord or something. i remember this from lamaze class..
hanz holder: "ok love, we gotta roll over.."
what the? where'd all these people come from? dr. doolittle? what do you all see up on thet monitor?
dr. doolittle: "...ok let's get her rolled and prepped..."
nurse 1: "...just wait here... i'll get you some scrubs..."
WHOA! where are you taking her? i need to be there. HELLO?! look, i'm the hanz holder! that's my job!
hanz holder: "ok."
nurse 9: "i'll come and get you when we're ready for you."
hanz holder: "ok."
i'm standing in the hallway... i think. i feel like a paper doll. you know the ones where you cut out different outfits with those little tabs and wrap 'em around. i'm currently dressed up like the school cafeteria lady only i ain't servin no pizza. keep it together kid. wow! that's alotta people. what's going on? how come you get to peek in that window and i don't? i'm the hanz holder.. not doin my job...
hanz holder: "papa!" i see him up the hall. nobody home in that room. the party's over here.
papa razzi: "what's going on?!"
hanz holder: "umm.. problem. she's in there, uhh.. lemme see.."
i gotta know what's going on! why are they taking so long?! uh oh... i'm about to lose it... what if i never get to see her again? what if kaya doesn't make it? what if she has brain damage from lack of oxygen? what if... what if... what if... mila.
what's behind those blinds? just a peek...
hanz holder: "OMG!"
is that a scalpel? wait i'm not in there! WAIT!
hanz holder: "o... m... g..."
nurse 83: "ok we're ready for you. just step here.. and over that.. sit here."
ok kid, back to work, everything's fine. don't let her see you rattled. be strong. be strong.
hanz holder: "hiya baby."
ima n. distress: "hi."
hanz holder: "never could do things like everyone else could you?"
hanz holder: "everything's fine.." i think she's starting to see the cracks. steady boy.
wow! she's awake for this?! they're tugging at her like an ocean liner being pulled to sea. i can't believe she can't feel this!
dr. doolittle: "ok she's almost there.."
dr. doolittle: "ok baby's out!"
she's out! she's out! wait... where's the cry? c'mon where is it? OMG! where is it?!!!
hanz holder: "..everything's fine, love.. everything's fine.."
so little.. a breath. but i could hear that sound from the moon. there's nothing but that sound. and with it i'm gone. at 8:15 AM on a tuesday morning, my life ceased to exist. it was given away with pain. it was given away with fear. it was given away with pride. it was given away with love.
hanz holder: "she's here baby. our little girl is here."
another weak smile.
ima n. distress: "hiya munchie"
all we could do was cry.
dr. doolittle: "..some of us are going out.. oh, and are you going to lunch with us tomorrow.."
oh. i still have that camera from the nurse. take a picture you idiot! hi love. click.
where's kaya? oh.
bye baby. i need to stay with mama. we'll be up soon.
it was a loooong night. but we're here. all three of us. me with my freckles. her with her grin. and now kaya... with our hearts.
yeah, it was a long night…
the first of many.
ugh... i'm gonna cry every time i read this. i just know it. i was so calm about the whole experience. curtis is the only one who can make me cry.
curtis wanted me to show you these next 2 photos. i didn't even know he had these!!! visual tales from the delivery room.
and a little video you might like.