mila | random nuggets . scars

... a scar is never ugly
... we must see all scars as beauty
... a scar does not form on the dying.  a scar means, i survived.


                                                                   little bee by chris cleave


i love this book (little bee).  curtis is reading it now.  it's the kind that left so many impressions i had to write some of them down in my journal.  yes, i keep a journal.  i started writing when i moved to this country almost 20 years ago.  it was my only way to cope with the depression of being uprooted from my home.  to date i have eight books that hold my thoughts, my stories, my triumphs and my scars.  i still write in them today albeit less frequently since i started the blog.  


the quote above reminded me of a self portrait i took in 2007 when i was doing my 365 project.  i was supposed to take a self portrait everyday for 365 days.  i got as far as day 170.  on day 171 i hit a rut.  curtis and i broke up and i couldn't really function for a while so i quit the project.


this photo shows 2 of my scars.  i have many.  the one on my lip marks the spot where a dog bit me at age 2.  he ripped my lip open.  rumor is that i started the fight.  not that i was being bratty or intentional.  i don't remember.  anyway ... apparently dogs don't take kindly to getting their food bowl kicked by toddlers. i shoulda known.  


the scar on my neck is from surgery when i was 14.  they found a cyst on my left thyroid and surgery was my only way out.  unfortunately i developed a keloid on this part of my body.  the scar was huge and as thick as an earthworm.  several rounds of steroid shots were required to tame it down.  that pain i DO remember.  i also remember that people used to stare.  and as mean as kids can be, adults can be much worse.  these are my battle wounds, life scars and my stories.  it's what makes me interesting.