hi there! i'm michelle, southern california based photographer and curator of the coco gallery.

welcome to my blog where i share my life, my latest adventures, photo projects, random nuggets and the occasional stray thoughts.

for clients: to view my portfolio just click on this link - theCOCOgallery.com. to book sessions please send me a message through theCOCOgallery.com or contact me via michelle@thecocogallery.com | 949.734.0604

Monday, June 15, 2009

mila | stray thoughts . doubting myself

i used to say that i like to fly under the radar and then surprise my employer with my brilliant one two punch move. i'm a quick study and impressing the boss comes easily to me most of the time. but i can't really do that when i am my own employee. the person to impress is the client and they have no clue i even exist. this marketing thing is a royal challenge. here i am ... finger on the shutter, blood pumping through my veins ready to aim my camera at that next session... and i wait. and i keep waiting. my vision starts to blur as my contacts dry out. i'm getting dizzy from holding my breath. i'm still waiting.

a few weeks ago curtis gave me a stern lecture about putting myself down. i am my own worst critic. everyone knows that about themselves. curtis won't allow it where the topic is me + my photography. he truly is my biggest supporter and i appreciate it and if i could love him anymore .. i would. i really want to prove to him and myself that i can make it in this industry. and so i abandon the waiting game and move forward.

the re-branding of milaPhotography is heavily in the works. we were supposed to be done by today but as life goes... we're a little late. i can't wait to share the new site, logo and philosphy with you. it's taking all my willpower to keep my fingers zipped together and my lips sealed. i CAN tell you however that i am branching out a bit. as an extension of my photography, i will be teaching a class on lightroom at the IRVINE FINE ARTS CENTER. it's not till october but in case anyone is interested ... i'm dropping hints. details to follow.

so i figured out that the best cure for a cold is a shot of tequila first thing in the morning and last thing at night. i'm not alcoholic i swear! the video below by zack arias is the best cure for those of you that hit the rut that every photographer seems to hit. same formula as tequila... watch it first thing in the morning and last thing at night. do that for a few days and call me if the symptoms persist.

love you guys and till the next post... over and out!


  1. You got it girl! It is okay to doubt yourself. Taking a step back and looking in can really help you grow. Just make sure you aren't building up more walls than you are breaking down.

    I doubt myself a lot as well. This year has been a tough year to get started in and I can't decide if this waiting game is the economy or me. I am constantly seeking my vision. I want to be sure I am creating the art I want. I know that will keep me happy regardless of running a business.

    I'm sure its them though and not us. =) I can't wait to see your rebranded site. It takes a lot of creative work to re-brand yourself, so if you are almost done with that, then you are 90% of the way there.

    Oh and that Zack Arias video - yeah can't get enough.

  2. You are a lucky girl to have lots of support and love. You'll succeed. We will make it happen!

  3. I'm so glad that you have such a pillar in your life to tell you how wonderful you, because the truth is, Curtis is right. You are an amazing artist. Don't doubt yourself my LOVE!

  4. It's okay to doubt yourself, but it's what you do about it that counts. Hang in there and you will get to where you want to be. With your drive and talent, it's just a matter of time.

  5. hang in there girl. it WILL come. if you've got the passion, drive, and the little push from your significant other, you'll make it.

    make sure you're shooting all the time. shoot yourself. shoot your workspace. shoot a flat tire. shoot a kitchen sink. shoot beautiful models. shoot ugly models. shoot grass. shoot dirt. shoot flies on the cieling. it'll all make you better!

    if you ever want to just get out and shoot for no reason, i'm game...you know where to find me!

  6. hey girl, you go out and get it...

    but i understand perfectly, i feel the same way many times.
    we just started our photography business this year and i would love for it to start full force, but it's not... YET!! *sigh*
    good luck with everything!!!

  7. For a moment there I was agreeing with him and started to reflect on the "work" I've put out these last couple months. Then I woke up and promptly stabbed my left eye with a pen. The other day I checked out a camera shop in LB and the guy behind the counter asked "what kind of work do you do?" I answered, "Mostly low light, kids." I caught myself before the comma, but it was too late. I just promptly left the building. -Ojay

  8. Is putting one's self down a woman thing? I do that too.. a lot. We've been told to stop by people we love.. so let's do it. Trying...

    Anyway, I'm no art critic or anything but I like you and I like... Julian Schnabel for example. You're in good company love love!